Dan and Kathy Ott, doing what they loved

A Good Death

Tanya Ott
8 min readJan 4, 2021

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The call came at 9:17 on a Friday morning. I remember because I was meeting with a potential client who wanted my help with a major project. When I saw my sister’s photo pop up on my iPhone, I declined it thinking I would call her back later in the day. Within five minutes it buzzed again, this time a text from my brother. And then again, another call from my sister. “This can’t be good,” I thought, so I wrapped up my meeting, downed the last of the foam from the bottom of the mocha, and walked outside to call her back.

“You need to come to Florida,” she said. “Mom has decided to die. It will happen tomorrow night.” (note: she probably said “Mom has decided to withdraw care” or something technical like that. But that’s not what I heard.)

Tomorrow night. Those words weighed on me as I phoned my husband and made plans to hit the road.

My mother always knew what she wanted and what she did not. Not that she was pushy. Far from it. Growing up, when I wanted her opinion she always took the middle ground. “What do you think about this dress?” I would ask. “It looks nice,” she would reply. Always nice. Not awful, not awesome. Nice. She was not quite stoic, but reliably moderated, probably the result of growing up with Depression-era parents raised on the edge of Pennsylvania Dutch Country in what James Carville once referred to as “the Alabama” between Pittsburgh and…

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Tanya Ott
Tanya Ott

Written by Tanya Ott

I tell stories. Most are true. Some are not. Bylines include NPR, Marketplace, Deloitte Insights & Following Harriet podcasts. Trying to finish PhD & novel.

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